Pittsburgh's Heading to the Super Bowl!

So this is shaping up to look like it is going to be one heck of a Super Bowl. The Steelers will win. They have more heart, courage and determination then any other team in the NFL. They also have they absolute best and largest fanbase of any team out there.

Enjoy the game. Cheer Alot and Enjoy the Commercials!

Three Years Ago Today

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~Honoré de Balzac

Three years ago today I did one of the hardest things I have ever done. I said Goodbye to my Mother for the last time. I sat next to her bed holding her right hand while my Father sat on the other side of her bed holding her left hand. We told her how much we loved her and that it was okay to go and be at peace finally after so many years of pain and sickness. For the last six months of her life she had been on life support. We didn't know if she knew we were there during that time or not, but as I sat there holding her hand I knew she felt me there. I never cried more than I did that day when I knew she would leave this world forever. The hardest thing I ever did was sign my name, giving permission to take her off life support. I watched my father lose his wife, whom he so dearly loved as he faced his own mortality with cancer raging through his body.

My Mother was and still is one of the strongest people I have ever known. She was diagnosed with Chron's Disease when she was in her early twenties. At the time, there was no known treatment for this extremely debilitating disease, other than powerful pain medication. My Mom though never let it control her life. She showed and raised some of the best Bichon Frises in the country. She had the number seven dog in the country; Ch. Kingston's Stormin' Norman. Bred, owned and handled by her. No small feat in the highly competitive dog show world. Her dogs were her reason to get up in the morning, her reason to not let her health tear her down.

My Mother was one of those people who, when she entered a room, everybody stopped and looked. She might have been small in build, but she had a commanding presence about her. She made people quake in their shoes if she felt they were not treating someone or something fairly. She was very involved with local politics and fought always for the little guy. She was respected and revered.

Growing up, my Mom was my biggest cheerleader and my harshest critic. She held me as I sobbed uncontrollably when I lost my first horse, Borr. She held me again when my heart was broken the first time. She was at every Swim meet, Cross Country and Track meet and Softball game I ever participated in since I was 8 years old till even after I had graduated High School. She encouraged my horse endeavors, but from a distance. She was there for my highs and my lows, and even though we did not always see eye to eye, she loved me no matter what, unconditionally. I wonder now as I run my own children to their after school sports activities , how on Earth she ever did it, along with running her own business, keeping a home and being a wife, on top of her illnesses. I wish she were here to tell me, to let me in on the secret.

She was firm with me when I struggled through months and months of rehab when I was 12, after falling from a ladder and basically crushing my whole right side of my body. She kept her face right to mine and said "You will do it!" "Can't is not in my vocabulary!" as I begged and pleaded with my therapist and her that I couldn't take one more step. She never let me quit. She is why I can walk today. When none of the doctors thought I would ever walk, she knew I would. She believed in me when no one else did. The following year I proved all the doctors wrong and went out for the Cross Country Team and within two years I was in league with some of the top runners in the state, all because of my Mom. She pushed me to achieve, to be better than I thought I could be. When I was 15 and diagnosed with Jr. RA, she refused to let the doctors tell me I had to give up my horses and sports. She knew that my love, my passion would keep me going. Through her I learned to push through it.

When I married my husband, she took him in like a son, even at times siding with him over me. She loved him more than I think he will ever realize, because he loved me and that was all Mom wanted to be assured of, that I was loved and cherished. Jeff has succeeded tenfold in assuring my Mother of that.

When Zared and Morgan were born, you never met a happier Grandmother. She spoiled them rotten. They learned quickly if Mom and Dad wouldn't let them have something, Grandma would. They have precious memories of her. I knew she wanted to be here longer for them, to be able to experience life with them, but I know she is happy watching them from above and giving us the air smack upside our heads that we sometimes need.

Since my Mother's passing I have had moments when I know she is right there with me. Sometimes words come out of my mouth that were her words, not mine, and people, especially my family will look at me with bewilderment, and I reply to those looks with; "It was a Barb moment." I swore as a kid I would never be my mother, now there are days I cannot think of anyone better to be. Sorry Jeff. Deal with it. :0

I love you Mom and I miss you terribly.

Barbara A. Stamoolis
June 9^th, 1944 – January 27, 2006

To Those I Love

If I should ever leave you,
Whom I love
To go along the silent way. . .
Grieve not.
Nor speak of me with tears.
But laugh and talk of me
As if I were beside you there.

(I'd come . . . I'd come,
Could I but find a way!
But would not tears and
grief be barriers?)

And when you hear a song
Or see a bird I loved,
Please do not let the thought of me
Be sad. . .for I am loving you
Just as I always have. . .

You were so good to me!
There are so many things
I wanted still to do. . .
So many things I wanted to say
to you. . . Remember that
I did not fear. . . It was
Just leaving you
That was so hard to face.

We cannot see beyond. . .
But this I know:
I loved you so. . .
'twas heaven here with you

by Isla Paschal Richardson.

A sort of Bucket List

I try to keep a few posts on the back burner for days like today when I am just too busy trying to stay warm and doing barn chores.

I found this Meme on The Beacon: A Journal, last month. I thought it was pretty neat to look at all the things I have done. And here I was thinking I had not accomplished much in life.

Things I've done in my life (in bold):

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightening at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise (Loved it!)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance (More than once)
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (several times)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (did not like it one bit!)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Rode an elephant

I can tell you with certainty that I will never bungee jump or go skydiving. My husband has gladly done those things for me.

Want to play along? Copy the list to your own blog (or email) and highlight the things you've done.

Friday Fill-Ins # 5

1. Oh, I am so done with winter!

2. I am preparing for changes, big and little.

3. During the Super bowl, I hope Polamalu takes out as many Cardinals as he can.

4. The Cardinals actually think they are going to beat the Steelers; are you kidding me???

5. Right now I'd like to be anywhere warm with a beach.

6. My phone (Blackjack II) is my favorite gadget.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to cheering my son on at his basketball game, tomorrow my plans include barn work and Sunday, I want to do better at my roping lesson!

Wordless Wednesday

You're in Steeler Country Now!

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party. ~Sue Lawley, 1985

The Golden Telephone

A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a bookabout Churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there.

Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes.He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read "Calls: $10,000 a minute."

Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Dallas, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Pennsylvania. Upon entering a Church in Pittsburgh, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: $0.35 cents."

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, "Father Jones, I have been in cities
all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone
and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to
God, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only $0.35 cents a call. Why?

The priest, smiling benignly, replied : "Son, you're in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania now, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers-5 times Super Bowl Champions,
the Pittsburgh Pirates, the Pittsburgh Penguins, 3 vibrant rivers meeting at the
Point of the most beautiful downtown area around, the city with the best hospitals, neighborhoods and friendliest people in the world!

You're in God's Country.... It's a local call."

AMEN

Videos Galore in Tribute to the Greatest Football Team of All Time!

One of my All Time Favorites, The Invincible Jack Lambert!

Visit Steeler Nation

The End of an Era

It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are. ~Roy Disney

When I was young, my dreams were huge. Dreams of an equestrian life, filled with accomplishments. Oh to be a child again. If you read my other blog, Argo's Journey, one of my recent posts talks about the scenic tour my life has been taking over the last 3 years. I have been re-evaluating my life and my priorities. I have been known to be stubborn at times to the point where I can become difficult to be around. Once I have my mind set, very little can possibly change it. With our impending move to Indiana for Jeff's work, I have again had to re-evaluate, what I had already evaluated several times in my mind.

For most of my life, I have enjoyed what I do. Horses have been a part of my life since I was 8 years old, for almost 30 years now they have influenced my life. I watched my first foal take her first steps 20 some years ago. I still remember that moment as if it were yesterday. She was a beautiful Arabian bay filly, with wonderful Bask bloodlines. Her name was Zarah, and she was such a thrill. At the age of 3, I put her under saddle. What a sight she and I were! My parents would have had heart failure if they had ever seen those first moments with me on her back! I was young though and incredibly stupid, and according to me, the best rider in the area. Yes, to be young again. Zarah and I eventually came to an understanding though after several months of arguing, fighting and forcing. I have learned so much since then. Zarah and I worked well together though in the coming year and she found a great home in Ohio to become a show horse. She did well for the most part once the holes in her training were shored up, and I was eternally grateful to the experiences and learning I received from the people who had her.

I have always sought to be a better horseman (woman). I might not have always realized it, but over the years I have always wanted a better way. I walked away from the horse show scene as a teenager disgusted by the antics of my competitors. I came back into it several years later for my own goals, testing myself and my horses against ourselves, not our competitors. That is the way I have kept it since then, for myself, Morgan and those I instruct. It has never been about the ribbon or the money for me, it has been about what I have done to improve me and the horse. I have often said if you are no longer having fun and it is starting to become work then you need to get out of it. I'm not saying I have not had disappointments, I have had plenty, but I never let them overwhelm me. I would work on what I could do better. I will not and have not subscribed to the mentality of "win at all costs". I want a sound horse at the end of the day. Sound of body and mind.

I have watched the horse industry evolve over the past 30 years, some of it good, some of it bad. I have seen good people slip into a place of forgetting about the horse and it being all about them. I included myself in that group at one time. I have also seen my fair share of liars and thieves in the horse industry. The greed of people never ceases to amaze me. What they will do to theirs or someone else's horses for the almighty ribbon and money. The current system of futurities puts undue stress and pressure on extremely young horses to excel at their event. A horse's spine is not totally developed until it is almost 6 years old, but yet look at any show, in any breed or discipline and you will see young two year olds performing at the lope/canter flawlessly. What damage is being done that won't show up till years later? And to what end? Some of you might have seen this recently on the internet, but for those who have not, Cleve Wells has been accused of abuse to a horse in training at his facility. I am not surprised by this. I have seen similar things go on. I have been there myself with IRS and a trainer who took a lot of my money and two months later a horse who was several hundred pounds lighter and not knowing much more than what she knew when she left me. Not as apparently abusive as what this horse has gone through, but abuse none the less, for what? The almighty ribbon and money, to push young horses to do things they physically and mentally are not capable of doing long term. Mr. Wells is not the only one here though, he just got caught. Across the country, this goes on daily, by reputable and not so reputable people. The horse industry is unfortunately filled with ill intentioned people though in all areas. When it happened to me, I could have sued, but that is not my way of doing things. I believe in experiences and learning from them. I commend the owner of the horse that was at Mr. Wells', for her perseverance and push for justice, she is bringing to light a nasty secret that has gone on for years. Horse owners as a whole I believe are good in heart. Then you have your unscrupulous people that will take others down because they are jealous, greedy, pompous, and ignorant and just downright mean. These types of people think they are above it all, that their actions will not have consequence. To these people I say, I hope it was worth it to you. One day you will look back at your life and maybe realize the pain and misery you have caused for your own selfish wants.

As I said before I have been on the scenic tour for a little while. With the impending move I have been forced to think what will I do in Indiana? I have moved my business 3 times now over 15 years. It's extremely hard to start all over again (insert whine). So I have decided I won't. The little scenic tour has made me realize what is really important, my family. Once we move, I will be officially out of the boarding and lesson business. I have been involved with horse people for so long now, that I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I'm sure I will find something, but it will definitely be a change for sure. I have seen the gambit of people over the years. My horses have helped me to meet people that I am extremely proud to call friends. Unfortunately, though I have also met some of the most horrible people you could possibly imagine. Over the last decade I have seen way too many people become part of the "Me" society, where it is all about them. They never take responsibility for anything, they feel they are entitled, and they have no moral compass. I see it in children and in adults. I see people looking for the "magic pill" to fix their woes, taking from others when they have not worked to achieve it. This has pretty much helped make my mind up about not starting over again. It's emotionally draining to try to sort the good apples from the bad apples. I want to focus on making sure my family is well grounded and that my children have a moral compass.

With me changing directions in what the heck I'm going to be when I grow up, I had to consider what to do with the breeding end of my business. When Malarky came along, I saw the chance to get back into breeding. I had missed it more than I realized. Malarky has been that once in a lifetime horse. I fortunately have had 3 of those now, and hope he won't be my last. Malarky does not have a superb show record, or amazing push button training, what he has is heart. The heart to do anything that has been asked of him, whether it be carrying me along on the trail, putting up with my "gotta teach you this or that." Standing patiently while I tried to harness him and teach him to drive and pull a cart, only to realize I had the figure 8 wrap wrong, looked more like a 7 I think, again waiting patiently while I pulled the cart back to him and rewrapped the shafts. Learning how to put up with numerous lesson students learning how to ride, then to be dragged to IHSA shows and used for numerous reining and rail classes, and giving all of the different riders a consistent ride every time. His heart is huge, maybe it's the Rugged Lark in him, that's what I have always thought, I see it in most of his foals, the calm demeanor the willingness to try. He has allowed me to have fun again in the show ring. His show ring antics make me laugh every time he and I are in the ring. From his trademark yawn, to his groaning and moaning as we lope around the ring, to his want to yak to his neighbor in the lineup. He has a ton of character. No, he is not perfect, but he is the best teacher I have had. He has forced me to find a gentler way, a better way to communicate what I want, to ask first. He has reminded me it's not about the end result, it's about the journey. Over the years he has given me so much. This year he is 16. Last year, I began to notice arthritis in his right knee. It came suddenly, but when I thought about all he has done and how he has never refused, even when he has been in pain, I realized how much I owed him. I have been treating it with some good results, but the time has come that he semi-retire. Malarky does not have a turnout buddy; his foals have been his buddies over the years. Once his foals get older though and move into other pastures, he begins to pace for them. This I believe has aggravated the arthritis. I have come to the decision that he will be gelded so he can enjoy his semi-retirement, hopefully with pasture mates. He has been my partner for almost 10 years now and he has done everything I have ever asked of him without complaint, I feel I owe it to him to allow him to enjoy his senior years as comfortably a possible.

Malarky at an IHSA Show

I also have plans to geld Flash and Dell. So with that I will be out of the breeding business as well. I want to focus on what's important; family. Morgan and I will continue to enjoy our herd of horses, we will still head out to the shows, but it will be for us and no one else. We will continue to learn and teach our horses and I will still offer help to those who ask, but my focus is going to be where it needs to be; my husband and children. An Era will soon come to a close.

Friday Fill-Ins # 4

1. The world is starting anew.

2. I love you was the last thing I said.

3. I wonder when the weather will balance out.

4. Goodness is at the end of all things.

5. There's something to be said for quiet time.

6. Someplace warm and sunny is where I want to be.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to taking Morgan roller skating, tomorrow my plans include cleaning and Sunday, I want to ride some of my horses!